The Toll It Takes

It seems so far away. It's been 4 months since I left the west, and I feel different. 

Montana changed me; it broke me, but it also made me whole again. It breathed life back into my body. Death breaks you, it changes you, it rewrites the very fibers of your being. I did not know it at the time, hell I still don't feel it changing me, but it has. The west gave me the ability to cope. 

Since being back on the East Coast, I have become inspired. My desire to produce meaningful evergreen content has never been stronger. With this desire comes an internal struggle to sort out the purpose of it all, the "why". 

I was given a voice, a platform one could say. But what do I do with it? Am I good enough to have my story told? Or am I just a farm kid with a dream to do something great, something different than everyone else. 

I crave to live a life I do not need a vacation from.

When I look at my life presently; Do I want to guide full time forever? No - I'd be broke. Do I want to fly fish, hunt, hike, travel & explore the world, fly through the sky in the cockpit of a helicopter - damn right I do, but how do I capture the essence of my career and turn it into a cause? How do I use this platform for education to inspire others to live out their dreams? If I am not truly exclusive to one sector, how do I own the right to make a stand in that industry? Isn't that cheating? I am going for broke but as a whole, not just one part of me. I am an advocate, a resource, but how am I giving back? How do I corner this market from a different angle? 

How does one juggle it all; this is my life. The outdoors is my life - but what sits at the cornerstone? My story is unlike others, it is unique, it is genuine, it is mine. I created this life, I forged the way for where I am. But now what? I am good at so many, a master at some... and in today's world, is that enough? 

I'd be lying if only talked about the aspirations of inspiration. This path of entrepreneurship has its hurdles. 



Time, money, resources, where does it all collide? What is the cost? 

Late nights, early mornings 

Lots of associates, very few friends

You will be misunderstood 

You will be single, unless you're lucky enough to find someone who understands your lifestyle 

People will want you to do good, but never better than them 

The price it pays? For these reasons, you will do many things alone. 


As I move further and further into this unchartered world of self-employment the quote above becomes truer. You see the highlights on my social media accounts, the picture perfect seconds that were captured. What you do not see, are the weeks of insomnia that follow a writing stretch, the friends who turn on you after a win, the nights at home not out spending money, rather saving for what matters. I won't ever complain about any of it, it is those negatives that keep me driving forward. It fuels me to be more, find more, & surround myself with more people who share the same mindset.

This may seem like wild ramblings, but I urge you to find your own truth in it all. Choose a path that begins to light a fire in your soul. You were given this one life to make a difference and to live it out at your own discretion. When you take steps to design and build your new life, people may not understand, but keep building. For today you will do what other's won't, so tomorrow you can do what others cannot. 

Over the next few weeks, I will be releasing content about finding inspiration, getting the most out of your life, and some how-to guides for what has worked for me so far.