All the things I want to say that a "thank you" won't illustrate.
Chances are that if you go through my call history, the last handful of calls are "Daddy", "Mummy" or "Home Sweet Home". I've talked to you both on the phone today, I've sat next to you on the couch tonight during Jeopardy, and passed you in the kitchen this morning. But today, was one of the first time in a long time that I've talked to you. I finally said I needed a change, I finally felt comfortable being honest, being real. I said "thank you", for voicing your support when I needed it most, and for placing a gene in me called, "I refuse to settle because one day I will build a life I am proud of and I will stop at nothing to accomplish that".
I’m writing this because I don't think the daily phone calls, nightly dinner conversations, and almost hourly texts do justice. I've been home for over a year, living under the same roof, eating the same meals with you, but I don't think I've given you enough of my time. And when I do give you time, it's rushed, it's interrupted and more often than not it's when I'm multi-tasking. I'm picking what state I'll be moving to next week, part of me is focused on just getting through the next hour, and the other half is partly engaged in you, in your words and your response to my generic question, "how was your day".
All the while, you drop EVERYTHING (especially you mom) you're doing to listen to me yell, cry, scream with excitement, or just ramble. You listen because it is important to you. I make my life busy, I add activity after activity in search filling gaps and voids, and I keep myself so busy that I forget how much you mean to me, how much my life depends on you both being there. And how often you are always right. You tell me to slow down and things will become clear. Well clear they are now.
Where do I even begin to express my gratitude? Thank you. an exclamation. A polite expression used to acknowledge a gift, service, or compliment. This may be the definition of "thank you" but it is so much more than a simple expression. It's a thank for you for life lessons & forever memories. Thank for both the good and the bad times. For putting me first, no matter where we are, no matter what's going on, and no matter how it affects you. For loving me, for you love me no matter where I've been, no matter what I've done, and no matter how much I have hurt you. You forgive me, even if I have wronged you similarly before, and even if I do not deserve your grace. For giving me an example that I will one day (try against all odds) to be for my own children. For teaching me kindness and trust to a fault. For sparking adventure at any cost. For subliminally making me a better person, for making me question my choices, my fears, and my self-doubt. It was your raising, your parenting, that got me here.
And how do I even begin to repay you? To express how much my happiness is wrapped up in the two of you. I can only say thank you and hope that I have given each of you a fraction of the happiness that you have given me. You have blessed me beyond measure with a welcoming place to come home to and with people who I know will always greet me with love. No matter what happened to me, you knew I'd find refuge and peace at home, and you patiently waited until I was ready to accept that. You waited for me to come home. You knew I could stand on my own, but you made sure I was never alone. You are both my pillars of strength and my comfort zone. You are my home.
Thank you for loving me so well that I got used to your love and cannot image a life where I won't be able to take it for granted. Thank you for standing in my corner, no matter what stage of life I'm in, and thank you loving each other so well, it is your unwavering example that started it all.
I love you both.